Shangri-la

Sheila Yates

When Sheila encountered old age her design career became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle: the adventure of being a resident with 800+ other elders all heading to the backstretch.

“Did I mention one of us might not be on board?”
My first mission in advancing us toward Retirement Home living was to analyze our current universe. Stay in our present sphere or venture to a new neighborhood?
Specifically, I privately opted for entirely new surroundings because I knew where we wanted to live. (Did you just catch the “I” turning into a WE?)
Truly, this was not about me; it was about us.
A line in a recent Wall Street Journal said, “Downsizing is torture.” We needed to talk to each other diligently and be fair to make this decisive and complex act as a twosome.
Our home was created with a beautiful atmosphere and great comfort. Leaving would in many ways, be a great sorrow. It was an equally painful move for our two grown daughters who no longer lived in our area.
                        MOVE! WHAT?             HOW DARE YOU LEAVE?
We understood their nostalgic desire to hold on to our beloved home. But their lives had moved forward — why not ours?
My mother lived in one type of a RH* when she was still fairly active. It offered meals, housekeeping, laundry, emergency monitoring, minimal social activities, transportation and security; a senior monthly rental. But as her health declined, we had to hire outside private assistance. Paradoxically, we then needed to seek another location and upset her routine to get assistant living care and skilled nursing. This category of RH* offers amenities, but after she transitioned to a wheel chair for safe keeping, a CCRC was our goal.**
Back to us.
We were past the baby boomer generation and qualified age-wise except for this:
a CCRC style hamlet costs a pretty penny.
Because of my design experience with various retirement stomping grounds, I considered myself the perfect person to find the perfect community thus qualifying myself to be a “modest little person, with much to be modest about.” Winston Churchill
 
About that “little person,” hmmmmm, — me???
Humbug — practicality needed to reign. There is a plethora of retirement homes that have lustrous grounds, quiet corners and beguiling sales staffs awaiting new captives with bedazzling presentations.
But, ——
our own nooks and crannies also offered peaceful retreats.i.e. a picturesque circular staircase took us to our private nook.
Our staircase started indoors and when it’s owners remodeled and removed it; we bought it. My husband adapted it for our outside deck.
Loving research, we discovered communities offering splendid landscapes, views of abundant jewel toned flowers surrounded by myriad shades of greenery — nature in southern California.
And so, we sought informational picturesque ads that tempted us.
Enticing, serene, but, on second thought —
                                                  Japan is soo far away.***
Or — or —
a view of grounds terracing down to a river. I could relive my childhood home sited above the Mississippi River and view a corner tableau of the river from our future bedroom window.
Great! Not great! The picture heading said:
                   “On the Hudson River, N. Y.”
    We typed in Southern California.
Right state, right coast;  ixnay.
Stiftling!
Countless ads pictured bucolic residents in virtual Shangri-La’s displaying no sad faces in their “worry-free life styles of exquisite amenity filled luxurious senior environments.”
If we hurried we could “save money” with “limited-time offers.”
Hallelujah, we needed to get right on the road to nab that bargain and engage with those happy-campers.
One that beckoned us to visit had an ocean climate in lieu of our current warm/hot inland habitat. Sounded good to us!
And so, we drove down our winding small mountain road, traversed two freeways and side streets to our, maybe…..“silver lining” home???
Were we on our way to Shangri-La???

SALIENT POINTS:

  • Did we research the diverse types of Retirement Homes available?
  • Did we research the diverse of Retirement Homes available
* RH — Retirement Home or RC Retirement Community
**A CCRC — Continuing Care Retirement Community was a necessity on our wish list. And we needed to understand the physiology and psychology of these small principalities with their opportunities to encourage longevity, well-being and peace of mind.
***Interior Design Magazine: Sun City — Kobe, Japan (February 2018)
Happy Valentine’s Day Blaire!
Happy Birthday Everett!

Layers

Sheila Yates
When Sheila encountered old age her interior design career’s unique experiences became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
 
Join her for a trek to the Inn of the Geriatrics in Post 1,
Is there ever a good time to suggest to your husband that it’s time to move to a Retirement Home?
There’s not — and my cheery voice made zero impact. (But one of us knew; ——it was time!)
As my husband answered, in an incredulous voice, “What do you mean?“
(wah, wah)
My anemic answer! We’ll add a new layer to our life???
And then he looked outside thru our light-filled solarium window and said, flatly,
  “I like this layer.
For starters, it was a disproportionate discussion, my husband saw a sassy swan fountain, an ancient pepper tree holding a wicker swing, a cutting garden, citrus trees and a pergola from which hung a 2′1/2 ” 1906 bell that had started life in another universe as an “Historic El Camino Real Bell.”
(They were original guideposts for Franciscan friars who walked “The Royal Road;” — the 700 mile historic California Mission Trail connecting 21 missions and 4 presidios (military forts) from San Diego to San Francisco.) If a Padre walked from one mission to the next one— it took three days —
on horseback, one day.
As I write this and remember images of that backyard we loved, I also remember the need to face life with unflinching honesty. We were the right age; had too much stuff and property and one of us — had serious health issues. It was essential to step-it-up-a-bit! (Surely, we had enough perspective to push our boundaries and retire to— The Retirement Home!)
I was not a rookie on the retirement home landscape because I was the interior designer of a large retirement facility, had helped relatives and friends search for solutions to their aging needs, plus designed apartments for retirees downsizing that offered me energizing opportunities to share in their new senior environments because “when death is already sounding its high C,” — ‘Anthony Burgess,” — there are challenges.
And retirement homes have Band-Aids.
(The building I designed was part of a CCRC* and was a tear-down that completely replaced the former building.
The job was not in the city where I lived so this required travel to that location for two or three day visits. allowing me to meet residents and understand their needs more thoroughly. Trust me, they had magnetic personalities, — were quick-witted and up-to-date. (Being old did not and does not mean you’re dead!) Unequivocally , I may now be old, but, — I’m not dead yet.
The whole commission included space planning, public rooms, window treatments, carpeting, etc., a provocative challenge when a picture in my past ballooned evoking the first retirement home, I had ever seen.
I was eight years old when we moved across the street from “The Altenheim,” — the German title for an Old Folks Home. I could not believe my parent’s choice. How could they buy our house across the street from that huge, hostile torture chamber? It looked scary and seemed frightening!
After all, I was an ardent fan of Nancy Drew, devouring her books and I knew, “The Altenheim” had dripping cobwebs with a secret staircase hiding a dead body!
My mother’s cure-all, “The people are old and I know a nice lady who lives there; we’ll visit her soon.”
“No way,. Not me!“
So much for the remembrances of an eight year old recalling “The Altenheim!” That was then, and this is now, and now,— —
I’m hoping we’ll move to an Altenheim?? Hmmm….
TO BE CONTINUED:
* A Continuing Care Retirement Community that is designated as a CCRC offers independent living, assisted living and skilled nursing and usually has memory care arrangements. “AARP — There are nearly 2,000 CCRC’s in the U.S.”
Happy New Year, Blaire

life in a retirement home — hmmmmmmmmm?

Sheila Yates
Exploring the in’s & out’s of my vintage life.
WHY?
 
“The population of over 65er’s is expected to grow 8.6 million by 2030 and the elder population is projected to outnumber children.” (Census Bureau)
Whew!
 
BECAUSE —
 
I am now a resident in a senior facility and want to share my experience as a way of navigating old age in a community that offers ways for aging populations to segue into a health care environment. Well, we certainly wanted to segue, so we moved, hoping to make positive change for a fundamental and optimistic part of our everyday vernacular and to stay healthy, cognizant, flexible.
 
SOMETHING ABOUT SY:
Surprise! It seemed an extraordinary happening, but one I was totally ready to take on. I was the right age (ELDERLY) to move into a retirement home! What? Old? And still have a life? Evidently yes. It happened! and I find myself ensconced in a two bedroom, two bathroom and kitchen apartment that could easily be a New York boarding house with meals and surrounded by glorious weather, brilliant friends and about 70+ activities.
 
AND SO:
 
I decided to be an “octogenarian blog writer”. There were many lovely experiences that shaped my life along the way to retirement. One was the summers spent ice skating in the U.S. and Canada, teaching elementary school and community college, lecturing at Interior Design Conferences and on cruise ships. My Interior Design firm focused on finding solutions for seniors, their environmental needs and safe interiors and I lucked out; my work experience among those seniors/friends presented moments of shared hopes and fears about this larger-than-life capacious life-style change.
And, I want to share ours.
 
CAVEAT: (MY TWO CENTS)
 
You will need a clear mindset because there are many areas to research when you start encountering the beautiful properties and the interesting activities offered by retirement communities as they endeavor to challenge your mind and body — and they do. What could be better? Do….
 
CHECK THE BOXES:
 
And explore with me your ability to —
1. Leave the home you treasure,
2. Enjoy new friends, landscapes & new digs,
3. Take advantage of the stimulating activities,[lectures, classes, fitness etc]
4. Investigate existing medical resources to see if applicable for relocating to an unfamiliar terrain,
5. Be smart with your money — the amount of cash you are going to pay, can pay and will pay,
6. Investigate future expenses and cost of living raises,
7. Location, location — is this the location where you want to live for your lifetime,
8. Separate the tempting emotions of — “Oh, this is perfect. Let’s move!”
9. When you make a new friend, will you be a good listener.
[I will be discussing these and other topics that I encountered.]
 
WHAT’S AHEAD?
 
New friends, a wealth of interesting people waiting to make new connections. Unquestionably, a multitude of positive social experiences satisfied our emotional needs — friendships with poets, scientists, artists, researchers, even an Admiral or two. All high achievers who live and share their absorbing life stories in my community.
Hang around with me and my blog and meet this Intrepid Octogenarian and….
 
PS: The A,B,C’s OF BLOG WRITING AND THE KEY TO MY GREAT LIFE:
                 At the heart —— have a family you deeply love, cherish and esteem!
                                                           N.D.B.D.C.
Cherish friends!
My A,B,C’s: These amazing people help and support me throughout my Blog Journey – Thank you!
Betty Barnecut, Writer & Editor
 Sue Berman, Intrepid Octogenarian Caricature Artist
Matt Karl, Project Manager & Computer Ninja
 
If you have questions or if my blog helps in any way, let me know, I would love hearing from you. It’s a great world out there and this is a way to experience and share it.
 
HAPPY NEW YEAR, BLAIRE DARLING
  “KICKOFF TIME____,” (1,2,3)
 1.LAYERS   2. SHANGRI—LA. 3.   OPEN SESAME!
“THE JOURNEY_____,”(4,5,6)
4. ANTICIPATIONS = TREPIDATIONS.    5. METAMORPHOSIS
6. NEW STOMPING GROUNDS
“HOME, SWEET HOME_____,”(7,8,9,10)
7. RULES, SCHMULES….    8. VERDANT VIEW.   9. ENHANCE EDIFICATION
10. MAS SCHMULES….