The Journey

The blog posts describing how Sheila got to her retirement community

BEYOND INSIDE, OUTSIDE…. WITH MOTHER NATURE

Sheila Yates

Dazzled by Mother Nature’s speckled flower gardens, welcoming pathways and fairy tale colors,
Sheila is gathering energy to walk about the stunning panoramas at her retirement realm. Communicating with nature offers profound effects on wellness and attitude.

“Take a chance on….” Join her in Post 12 as she ventures into Mother Nature’s vista.

Talk about an irrepressible spirit and a gung-ho designer who still has IT and she’s old…Mother Nature fits perfectly as a resident in my retirement realm with her offerings of inspiration and solace.

Her latest lingo….if we walk, she talks….to us….!

Normally I send accolades and offer standing ovations in regard to Mother Nature’s gardening/landscaping prowess, but I must mention about being a bit disheartened regarding her discombobulation of my three glorious Christmas Cactus plants….she really jumped the gun this year and showered gorgeous blooms on my porch around November 5th. Sooo wrong!

 

Oops, Surprise, Poof….She heard me. Mother Nature actually appeared and did not accept my teeny-tiny critique graciously….rising to her full 11′ height, (good thing we were on my porch or she would have hit her head on the 9′ ceiling in my apartment.) Her angry violet eyes, green lips, blue eyebrows and wavy yellow hair down to her ankles, (wow, pure technicolor), offered no beatific smile as she voiced centuries of frustration with our unfocused attitude on climate change, while she’s trying to stay on the forefront of investing/improving our ecosystems. (Probably in the future, I’ll keep my Christmas Cactus opinions to myself.)

I apologized prolifically and invited her for a stroll around my retirement realms lanes. I wanted to discuss an excellent article addressing climate change because the author, Michelle Norris, deftly presented a timely analysis challenging women to be her partners and advocates:                                                                                  “If artists were asked to imagine Mother Nature in seasons of unbridled water and heat, they would be more likely to sketch a character with a palm to her forehead or her hands on her hips. I see a woman scorned — a mother who doesn‘t care that she’s yelling loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear because her selfish and self-centered charges left the freezer open, ignored recycling rules and dared to play with matches in the middle of a drought. But however old fashioned our notions, and accounting for the sensitivity around gender norms, the irony is that women in general and mothers in particular are uniquely positioned to lead the on-the-ground battle to deal with the growing climate crisis.”*

Mother Nature said to me, “It’s about time for women to be proactive….the lovely gardens, waterscapes and pathways here showcase my talents….take a chance on me, dearie….I’m worth it.” And then, a whiff and she wafted out of sight. Hmmm, I wanted to show her more….nope, my interlude was over.

So I decided to again walk the walk and listen to her talk….additionally, all’s well, if we of the high-mileage age group walk…. an imperative goal to increase out balance/stamina.  Walking is a perfect cocktail!**

To begin,  water has universal appeal and builders often use it as a primary amenity. Fortunately, we have a bona fide lake, plus a lovely, large waterfall giving my CCRC, (Continuing Care Retirement Community) realm a double whammy. Some residents think it makes an earsplitting sound, but no worries, a wonderful asset happens. It turns on and off! Since three apartment buildings surround it, the procedure is to turn it off at night at 9:00 pm and on every morning at 9:00 am.

One of Mother Nature’s very best friends, Frank Lloyd Wright said:                                                                “Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you.” He would have been endeared…..


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

with our gardeners and their skills. Without fail, walks provide greetings….chats happen and during one sweet occasion while wearing my favorite gaucho hat, necessary to modify our California sun….I met my friend C.M. We shared news and I mentioned an earlier surgery….upon my return home, my email was shrieking and blinking….actually dancing a wild jig….Read Me, Read Me!!!!                                                                               From C.M:

When I started this blog , I wondered if  my husband and I would fit into a retirement realm, actually like it, find friends in this realm where white hair rules….Yes….we encountered feelings of compassion, gratitude and  joy….some rough moments, but in terms of “aging equity,” an absolute and positive investment!

Wishing my family and friends a Holiday Season of kindness, wellness and a future where we help protect

                                     Mother Nature to ……………Be Strong  and Stay:                                       

 MAGICAL!

 

 

SY’s Salient Points:

The gardens at my retirement realm are narcissistic/boastful, constantly clamoring for attention. During her surprise visit, Mother Nature, the Executive Director of garden colors told me, “my gardens evoke energy/ spirituality/nostalgia…. they set fresh moods….my bright colors are exciting, darks are dramatic and pales are gentle. I’m giving you my very best, Sheila. Get yourself out there, they’ll give you a lift.”

 

 

*From Washington Post: By Michele L. Norris  Columnist July 30, 2021                                                       Opinion: Mother Nature is ticked off. Can you blame her?

**From AARP, 4-1-2020: “…when it comes to walking, more is more for older adults,…But, what surprised researchers, low intensity strolls appeared to have the same benefits as higher-intensity power walks.”    Walking increases endurance, flexibility, coordination, and agility.

Wishing You Holiday Cheer and Happiness, Blaire!

 

RULES, SCHMULES….

Sheila Yates

When Sheila encountered old age her design career’s unique experiences became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.

Is there a precept that learning increases learning?* Actually, it’s an actuality!                                                          

Scientists found you can grow new brain cells your entire life; —“neurogenesis”                                         

We needed a lot! Did any neurogenesis arrive in Post 7?

Did you know that geese flying in formation fly 70% farther and at a much faster speed than they could ever fly alone?

Well, our recent move flew us into a flock of sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties….

      Reporter interviewing 104-year-old woman

“What’s the best thing about being 104”?

                                         She shrugged,      “No peer pressure!”

We fit right!

And next, Xanadu happened with this article — “It’s proven you can rewire the brain in 30 days to increase happiness, productivity and cognitive ability.”

Hooray, I had “Great Expectations,”

because

our newly developed neurogenesis found the life-renewing dialysis site,

but, the same sameness was the same — not unkind, just business. Some smiles here and there, but just business as usual. Bare bones room decor, three mondo days a week.

There were no complaints from my husband when his future became tied to machinery; his self-control was estimable. We hoped continued dialysis offered a multifaceted future.

I had a secret weapon in our new habitat; a heart-felt friendship, still strong after 50+ years and SHE lived in the next building.

Our years of friendship eased my way, not only on this property, but outside our “open sesame” gates. As the sole driver of our adventure now, without her help, I might have remained lost and wonderfully we continue to be the dearest of friends.

About that group living….

A study in Princeton, New Jersey discovered that when committed groups of people set intentions together, they’re six times more likely to manifest what they’re focused on.

Sooo, when 800+ of we ancients roam up and down our village avenues, reckonings arrive — SCHMULES!

About those schmules:

Our recent Retirement Realm’s abundant perks were truly abundant, but as far as unfettered freedom, nyet. Apparently, we would be fettered. Sounded doable; only a few garden variety do and don’ts. Hands down, no problem. Welll…..

Our apartment was in the largest segment of our CCRC: independent living. There are many, CCRC’S throughout the U.S. and all have this component. **       

RULES!

For starters, a badge of white plastic with each resident’s name is issued with a magnetic attachment and when placed onto a lovely ensemble, nestled near a marvelous piece of jewelry, well, it does cross the mind,  Is this haute couture?

                              As far as I’m aware, Vogue never featured this.

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STILL THINKING?

 

 

 

 

 

BADGE…. HAUTE COUTURE?

(Truth be told: remembering a name on a badge near a face clearly opens opportunities for friendship. And think of the “neurogenesis=brain cells” added when learning 800+ new names and faces!)

There’s More:

Also, a daily 2″ X 4″ red check-in button next to each interior front door must be pushed each day.  This was challenging —  remembering to push that button upon waking.

I tried a mantra — it didn’t work consistently. “Get up, push the button, get up, push the button” After a timing window from 5:30 to 11:00 AM; a Safety representative telephones to see if you are alive—(not necessarily functioning and definitely embarrassing, if you are alive and apologizing for not pushing the button on the third day in a row.)

 

 

Or, if you went out and forgot to push the button (with no one at home to answer,  there is a phone check.) Next there is a door check with a follow-thru procedure of visiting your abode….ring the doorbell, no answer, use a master key to enter. Yikes, what if you did not put in hearing aids and you are undressed — whew, most demoralizing.

But, if empty, a form note is left, stating that your apartment was entered. If said resident needs helps, our accomplished Safety team is ready to revive, restore or rescue.  (Keep in mind, it’s a good move to be a pristine housekeeper. Allows you to hold your head somewhat high when encountering that Safety Officer.)

Foremost — the red button is an in-depth “out-of-harm” feature  offering a positive 24 hour life checkup. Safety officers can be our life savers.

Apparently, this is a steep learning curve because many new residents [forget] to  push the #^*% button. As do quite a few long-time residents.

My AM twin — —

we have the same hairdo, same “out of touch” look and I am now burdened  to push a button! (Who knew how demanding life can get?)

I’m thinking even the handsome dude above could learn to push that button. It seemed I required my first cup of N’espresso coffee and it’s splendid aroma to push that button. Full disclosure, one of us living in our apartment always remembered.

And, it was not the dude above or me.    Hmmmm!     

New brain cells?

SALIENT POINTS:

  • Ultimately rules are a trade-off  and a reflection of common sense
  • A positive argument for choosing this Retirement Community experience — pivotal Safety Protocols.

    *From Harvard Medical School: …”about 700 new neurons are produced in the brain per day,” according to a 2013 study in the journal Cell.

    **Independent living areas in CCRC’S make up the largest component of Senior Shelters. No hassles of landscaping, housekeeping, property taxes, real estate insurance, most utilities covered…AND residents come and go at will. A CCRC means a continuum of care throughout the residents life and Safety features.

    From Fortuny, Venice Italy:

  • I bought this 2000 Fortuny stenciled green velvet tunic in Italy & wore it to one daughter’s wedding.

                                                No badge!

From Jewelry by Miriam Haskell:

A cherished gift from C and worn with authentic site badge to “intrepid” functions.

 

From Ethnicity Etc.  – By Bea:

Tunic & necklace by my valued friend Bea Roberts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Fourth of July Blaire & Happy Birthday to your Aunt C.

New Stomping Grounds

Sheila Yates
When Sheila encountered old age her design career’s unique experience became a guide to embrace change and shape an entire new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
 
Baby steps ushered us to a new cosmos. But firstly, we had to hop onto a moving van parade and journey to Our Brave New World!
 
Pick up a suitcase and join the parade in Post 6.
Our new stomping grounds were made for old protoplasms and a multitude of us agreed that Retirement Communities* offer not only pretty sites, but opportunities to function flexibly.
Hellooo, — — future mind & body Wellness Community!
 
Moving reinforcements and organized brains arrived to take center stage as dear friends helped us pack, discard, discard — pack. “Downsizing is torture.”
I recall that sentence from a Washington Post article. It does take over your brain 24 hours a day because less space means making smart decisions and smart decisions can be hard. Nonessential possessions take on a new life when met with “Throw it away!    Scale down this much?    I love this!”
Then again, we discovered my husband scaled down too much in his quest for doing his part —”unsettled compromise” entered the picture.**
In hind-sight, we wish he had not downsized as much with his “over-the-top” life achievements shown through his music publications, world guest adjudications, textbooks, honors and more. We felt heartsick.
And now, our last goodbye.
                                                  SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIENDERSEHEN…
 
We had given our queenly pet goat, Victoria Elizabeth to a farm where she could meander among possible cousins, aunts, uncles…her painted A-Frame cottage nestled under trees needed a new tenant.
We bought her to be a roaring facsimile of an electric weed eater. No way!
She expected to be treated as royalty. No weeds for her highness — honey alfalfa from a Feed Depot. Her occasional walks of prancing around our back roads suited her fitness routine.
 
    Victoria Elizabeth’s castle was empty!
 
Adieu to our picturesque wicker swing….swaying to and fro…. listening to the quiet in my head, solving questions that no one was asking me to solve. It was the perfect setting for imaginary journeys.
(No swing at our new digs, but there is an appealing rose garden.)
Farewell to:
That unruffled peaceful feeling of ambled pathways in our natural haven.
We closed our court yard gates for the last time. The old wooden garage door clattered downward. The moving van parked in front of our soon-to-be former home. Movers appeared to run a fifty-yard dash as they shouldered our grand piano. It was placed on a separate truck to begin life in Arizona where our darling granddaughter’s eight old fingers would explore its keys.
Our piano first appeared in my life when I was five years old in St. Louis, took up residence in San Diego and now was traveling to reside in Phoenix.
Goodbye to our peripatetically traveling piano!
Again, we had loved this home, but its upkeep was wearing and I worried because my husband’s difficult health journey over the last 6+ years had advanced to a fragile state. His life depended on “dialysis,” — a colorless cloud of patiently being hooked up to a dialysis machine three long days a week.
The toll was always that low-grade tedium and the dialysis centers he encountered seemed to compete on being cheerless.
Technical equipment essentials certainly take precedence, but natural daylight was not a design feature in his experience.
(And as a design professional, I wholeheartedly embraced the positive physiological effects of daylight on a patient hooked up to a machine for often four hours at a time….that should be a primary consideration.) ***
 
Regina Brett, a distinguished journalist from the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio wrote at age 90, “the 45 lessons life taught me.”
 
All worthy, but today, Number 4
spoke to me:
 
 
 
 
 
           
                                   “The best is yet to come.”
              
                                     We were counting on it.
 
Our “merry movers” didn’t finish placing all the furniture or unpacking boxes that day, although it was supposed to be a one- day move.
 
“Sorry we can’t return until Saturday.” What?
 
 
 
Nooo,….!
This was Wednesday, December 12, the next day was our first visit to the new dialysis site. Never being there — we were going to have to dig deeper to find our way. We did. We prodded and pushed ourselves to move forward.
Remember that Washington Post sentence? “Downsizing is torture.” **** WELLL..
the second bedroom/study was stacked with boxes and furniture. Unable to sleep that first night, I searched for a book with only a faint light.
 
OOOPS!
                                            I fell and landed on my tailbone.
After bumbling around for three weeks, X rays confirmed, it was broken. Of course it was. The prognosis — “healing can take between 8 to 12 weeks.”
  Darn, that prognosis was right on.
 
Later and half-awake that first night, for some unfathomable reason, I teetered to our doorway, opened the door and looked out expecting to see a courtyard with elevator gates fronting our swimming pool, the voluminous avocado tree’s branches clamoring for space and…
This is what I saw…..
 
                      Propitious?                                                            Nirvana?
                                    Hmmm — Our New Stomping Grounds!

SALIENT POINTS:

  • Emotions roiled through this process of adding value for our winter of life.
  • This move to a Retirement Community was  well-considered — monetarily, pragmatically & environmentally.
  • We catalogued pictures & memories.
  • In essence, we were excited to try a new lifestyle.
*Retirement Community ads: “Surroundings offer balance and harmony, age-friendly design, pedestrian-friendly streets, walkways and activities”.
**Thoughts from ‘A Short History of an Idea HOME,’ (W. Rybcznskii Professor of Architecture: Topics from his excellent book regarding the subject of comfort.
Personal history & possessions tell a story to become part of each persons “comfort zone.” but when efficiency and downsizing become a primary motivation, ‘unsettled compromise,’ enters the picture.”
***From the section, Dialysis Facility design—Part IV: Color, sound, and materials…
Steven B. Bower AIA — “I am a firm believer that natural daylight is still an important factor and should be a primary design consideration for a long‐term treatment area like a dialysis clinic…..after sitting in a chair without being able to move for 4–6 hours, the space may start to seem rather boring.”
****Zillow: “Moving requires emotional stamina unique to the process itself, one where you have to juggle forming a connection to a new place…”
   Happy Summer Solstice Blaire

Metamorphosis

Sheila Yates
 
When Sheila encountered old age her design career’s unique experiences became a guide to enhance change and shape an entire new lifestyle: the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
 
Sheila wants a — Gasp?
Metamorphosis!
Although metamorphosis often brings to mind the life stages of a butterfly, equally so, our bodies travel upwards and downwards on each of our life’s own roller coaster ride.
And, our life ride is skidding to — End Ride!
 
Noes, yeses, ups, downs — no more, pondering. Decision time.
 
Hang on as we discover solidarity for our ride in Post 5!
Stagnate us??
 
 
 
No way! Because there was a serious Chunk of Change involved as we reviewed our gains and losses
 
A CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) is a business and requires a contract. Sign on the dotted line….”we’ll do our best to take care of your physical and cognitive health.”
 
Next, the future resident hands over that Chunk of Change to secure a physical dwelling that ensures (us) a residency with a monthly fee which includes —
 
food served in handsome dining rooms and the myriad services of laundry, repairs, house keeping,
transportation, etc.
 
In that mix, is the security of the Wellness Compound as each life progresses— Skilled Nursing, Assisted Living and Memory Care, with a fee added monthly.*
 
AND Wonderful Plusses with Social Resources:
Indoor/Outdoor Swimming Pools, Art Room, Woodworking Shop, Golf, Libraries, Movie Theatre (popcorn!), Garden Plots, Pickle Ball & Tennis Courts & Guest Rooms for Family Visits.
Our new oasis is a most enticing property. It has been documented that we are “physiologically affected by the natural world, a reference to Biophilia.”** This property has a connection to nature, albeit on a grander scale than our smaller family compound duplicating plants, flowers, trees, sitting spaces, walkings paths, koi pond, etc…
 

The property has seemingly endless activities and bountiful feelings of joy

 where we will live with our “Silver Tsunami” *** neighbors. 
 
Additional resources include concerts, lectures/seminars, fitness classes & private workouts, clubs galore — current events, art/ceramic, poetry, etc…
What is there not to like?
 
An important consideration in your planning is acknowledging your ability to take part in the above activities and interests. Some residents arrive when their health is too challenged/fragile to enjoy what’s doable. Personal and physical activities increase the joys of living particularly when “Advancing to Go” as in older and older and older.
 
We kept researching. And, minute by minute, we were getting older and older. Decision time!
Once more with feeling.
Stay put through the holidays and celebrate one more set of holiday visits, shindigs and
 
over-the-top decorations.
 And sharing the fun of music & laughter with friends.
Our wedding anniversary was on December 22, and my husband often engaged a piano player. Friends joined us; he wore a tuxedo and I needed something new. Hooray!
 
As a family, we celebrated Christmas Eve at a sweet Mexican neighborhood restaurant with friends, had our main gift giving on Christmas Eve night and attended Midnight Services.
 
Before we had our family Christmas Day dinner, our daughters graciously drove to a distant French Patisserie bakery to pick up my yearly Christmas Tree tart dessert…major fib…they detested that errand. (Full disclosure, it was an imposition for their Xmas mornings. I, now apologize to N. & D.)
 
 
 In essence, we were creating our own Catch-22.
It was not a great real estate market — moving and down-sizing is tough. But then, whether sooner or later it was always going to be tough.
 
No more roller coaster ups & downs — full speed ahead!
 
We had banked many memorable moments — there was room for more.
 
We found a realtor…
Put our house up for sale.
It sold in a week.
 
Truth be told. Downsizing and selling a house is exhausting. But, in
reality — we were “upsizing” — we were “daring to try a new life” as
we became renters/sort of owners of an apartment in a Retirement Community.
Welcome to — Life —
Now known as
 GROUP LIVING!
 

SALIENT POINTS:

  • Honor your memories with photo keepsakes.
  • Look forward to making fresh memories & new friends.
  • Discovering friendships are emotionally energizing.
  • Move with optimism and a positive attitude.
*California residents pay their regular monthly service fee plus $550.00 per month for the two extra daily meals provided when they transition to
Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing or Memory Care.
**From Phoenix HG 12-20, “Biophilia literally translates to ‘love of life,’ and there are many studies in this field….Spending just 40 seconds outside can lower your blood pressure, stimulate your immune system and encourage brain function.”
 ***For starters, the baby boom generation is aging, causing an exacting demand for senior housing and by 2030 more than 20% of older American would top 73 million. Older people are projected to outnumber children for the first time in U.S. History. This age group has been known as the “Silver Tsunami.”
Happy May Day Blaire!

Anticipations = Trepidations

Sheila Yates
When Sheila encountered old age her design career’s unique experiences became a guide to embrace change and shape an entire new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
 
Progress! A kiosk aide pushed a magic button to a gateway of possibilities, But, could we live in a much smaller space even if it offered cutting edge tools to sustain health & wellbeing.
 
It was my initiative. Would it be ours? Were we moving forward or were we in a revolving doorway?
 
Tag along in Post 4 to our next encounter.

NO!
 
I did not want to push my husband to love my idea.
 
 
Doesn’t it always take….
“Two To Tango”?
 
During our second visit to Retirement Land to look again at the apartment that was available, we remembered that it looked fairly spacious. But that was without furniture.
Question: Could our furniture fit? And, if so, what furniture?
 
I’m an interior designer. So, draw a floor plan with our furniture. Duh!
 
Then…and always…The Nitty-Gritty
Doesn’t reality always move to center stage?
 
We met the financial guru who revealed the price of a move into that 1,160 sq. ft. apartment. Hey,*
it was down-right expensive!
 
On the other hand, there was a tiny trade-off…incentives offering a better price…they really liked us? (Really, Really!)
Did I mention we were still flummoxed?
In our case, according to my design research, we would be heading to desirable longevity.**
So far So good.
And….
My husband was pleasantly surprised at the handsome landscapes, delicious menus and amenities experienced, but still marginal about leaving what we had forged together.
 
When I was completing my design for a retirement home, I used my stay-over visits to learn the mantras of a remarkably aging population. They were not a bunch of “old dearies” bleakly accepting body ailments. Nope, they were realistic, whether aged 70, 80 or 90+ and maybe not seeing, hearing or walking well, but during my visits, my new friends kept trying and 97% had a zippy sense of humor.
 
So I felt less ambivalent about new pastures. Not having these experiences, my husband was still evaluating his pro and cons.
 
No doubt, we had cohabited for fifty years, but now we would be cohabiting with other residents in 642 apartments and villas — over 800+ chums.
Hmm! I understood his dilemma.
 
It would be necessary to build new kinships and interact socially — to some extent —
 each and every time we opened our door.
Nor was it perfect timing. Mid-November and the December season of celebrating religious traditions, family gatherings, and camaraderie, to me, it was forever a time of renewal.
l aways hoped to breathe new life into our small clan celebrations.
 
Who would even want to think about buying our home during this holiday time!
 
Truly, we loved the forty plus years we had spent knocking out walls with unrestraint. We added five sets of French doors that offered rooms filled with natural light, added decks, more rooms, altered landscapes, etc. It gave us a sense of pride and joy.
 
The positives:
  • a great spectrum for older bodies and minds,
  • walking paths with flowering landscapes,
  • engaging conversations and activities,
  • excellent food choices and in my book, no more “what in the *#*% should I cook tonight,
The negatives:
  • a substantial heave-ho to our money.

 

Again, we opened our French doors, stepped onto our deck and climbed down a circular staircase to the sweet nook my husband had designed and created — the perfect place for pondering.
We pondered….
Again, the benefits of living in a habitat enhancing health, well-being and longevity was pragmatic.
Their Financial Guru told us to expect a yearly increase in living expenses that would raise our monthly payments about 3%.
That sounded doable.
 
We weren’t looking through rose-colored glasses, but practical thinking needed to reign for being comfortable for however long we existed on Planet Earth.
 Forever And EVER???

 SALIENT POINTS:

  • Speaking to current residents offers an amazing experience; as a designer of a senior facility, senior apartments and often a guest, I asked questions?
  • High-end senior facilities focus on resort-style amenities.
  • “Close Encounters…” may be a science-fiction movie, but aging populations flourish by staying connected with social and outdoor amenities and friendships.
  • Be savvy about fees and possible financial headwinds. Facilities do have  down payment/entrance fees of up to or over $1 million that is partially returnable on a variable scale. (Not all continuing-care communities charge an entrance fee.)
*Life Care Type A Contracts: “unlimited use of health care services…fee increases based solely on an increased level of need…typically a higher entrance fee because some of the cost of future health care is prepaid at today’s dollars. Due to this prepayment, a portion of the entrance fee is tax-deductible for those who qualify to itemize medical deductions.”
2019 Acts Retirement-Life Communities, Inc.
 
**”People live longer, healthier lives when their living environments encourage being active and interactive with others, no matter age or level of physical activity…it is part of the solution for an aging world” — — Clinton Foundation Health Matters Summit.
Happy Easter Blaire & Happy Birthday To Your Daddy
 
 

Open Sesame

Sheila Yates
When Sheila encountered old age her interior design career’s unique experiences became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
Her initial campaign has advanced them to the Threshold.
She’s striding, he’s tiptoeing….
The Arrival! The Known & The Unknown! A New Horizon?
 
It was not my first visit to this Retirement Wonderland and from my short visits, it was definitely to my liking. BUT, I was only one-half of the whole. The other half was a HE and a HUSBAND.
Would HE — or would He not be interested, tempted, intrigued >>>>? Would SHE still be interested?
 
Join her and see what you think they should do!
Upon overhearing the password for a treasure cave blocked by a colossal stone; Ali Baba, an impoverished woodcutter began a quest! Find that cave — AND recite the mystical password;
 
 
Would a colossal stone fall away to reveal retirement treasures to our new  “cave”?
The Retirement Home?
No stone, but we arrived to an entrance driveway proffering exuberant bird-of-paradise marching down a center divide. We said the magical password, the kiosk guard hit “Open Sesame” — swoosh — gates opened to a virtual suburb of buildings and small houses which I later discovered were “villas.” Our sales lady met us in the lobby. My interior design background hoped for a light, bright ambience, such as…. this! (below image)*
But, No!
We entered an Old World setting — mucho brown tonalities — (apparently the designer envisioned “old” residents ensconced amid traditional interiors.) Not bad-looking, just heavy. Favorably, the people we encountered looked bright-eyed and bushy tailed! A fleet of gardeners gardened, residents rambled and there was an over-all aura of engagement.
Our stylish sales rep exuded warmth, knowledge and a presentation that was not flamboyantly “sell”. A golf cart drive revealed large clubhouses, workout spaces, indoor and outdoor swimming pools—skilled nursing and assisted living areas, etc. We left armed with a bag of brochures, apartment floor plans, financial expenditures and whirling elevator emotions.
Wrong!
 
Smitten? — yes and no!
 
Upon returning home to open our gates to an enclosed courtyard, we stopped — looked at each other, at our hot tub, our pool and at our large pool gates of antique wrought-iron. Harmonious.
 
We loved discovering old treasures (at least to us) and those gates that still worked perfectly had opened and closed old hotel elevator doors in bygone days. We added them upon buying our house because our daughters, aged one and four, had not yet developed their mermaid skills, the gates would keep them safe and they did.
 
Kismet…….?
Fate — or not fate! Because, the next day the phone rang! Surprise!
A Happening Happened — our saleslady called to tell us there was an apartment that could be our “Open Sesame” opening!
 
It seemed to make sense. When seriously ill; skilled nursing offered care; upon healing — back to our own digs.** At this point, the bases seemed covered. There was nothing —not to like, but ——there was this itty-bitty —actual —gigantic quandary————
 
Venerable villages can cost astronomical amounts of money!
 
And Einstein’s help was not on the horizon nor was postponing a decision realistic or smart. Our property demands were demanding — declining health hovered.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Wow —This was happening at breakneck speeds.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
We cared about our daughters’ feelings and they seemed to be supportive. Sooo,
our potential apartment had two bedrooms, two baths and a small porch/patio offering a view of a sizable and pleasant hillside of greenery. Full disclosure — California droughts bewitch greenery into brownery.
Happily, — the porch could accommodate a mini-patio garden. 
If further health fragility was in the cards, a positive for us would be that our future first floor dwelling was near exits, two dining rooms, plus the mail/reception area.
 
 
Was this accessible, achievable, advantageous?
 
 
Had a colossal stone in our future rolled away?
                            What could/would it open?
                                                     Was this our Shangri-La?

SALIENT POINTS:

  • Find a location which pays attention to our basic needs.
  • A CCRC offers a variety of solutions when/if our bodies diminish.
  • Ascertain if our retirement budgeting is realistic for future cost-of-living expenses in this community.
*Interior Design Magazine: Sun City – Kobe, Japan (February 2018)
**Skilled nursing facilities: “Continuing Care Retirement Communities are licensed by the State of CA. They are regulated by the Department of Social Services & include Skilled Nursing Facilities operated by the CA. Department of Pubic Health. They are regularly inspected by state officials, sometimes during scheduled visits and at other times that are unscheduled” Union Tribune 2-9-18
Happy St. Patrick’s Day & Women’s History Month, Blaire

Shangri-la

Sheila Yates

When Sheila encountered old age her design career became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle: the adventure of being a resident with 800+ other elders all heading to the backstretch.

“Did I mention one of us might not be on board?”
My first mission in advancing us toward Retirement Home living was to analyze our current universe. Stay in our present sphere or venture to a new neighborhood?
Specifically, I privately opted for entirely new surroundings because I knew where we wanted to live. (Did you just catch the “I” turning into a WE?)
Truly, this was not about me; it was about us.
A line in a recent Wall Street Journal said, “Downsizing is torture.” We needed to talk to each other diligently and be fair to make this decisive and complex act as a twosome.
Our home was created with a beautiful atmosphere and great comfort. Leaving would in many ways, be a great sorrow. It was an equally painful move for our two grown daughters who no longer lived in our area.
                        MOVE! WHAT?             HOW DARE YOU LEAVE?
We understood their nostalgic desire to hold on to our beloved home. But their lives had moved forward — why not ours?
My mother lived in one type of a RH* when she was still fairly active. It offered meals, housekeeping, laundry, emergency monitoring, minimal social activities, transportation and security; a senior monthly rental. But as her health declined, we had to hire outside private assistance. Paradoxically, we then needed to seek another location and upset her routine to get assistant living care and skilled nursing. This category of RH* offers amenities, but after she transitioned to a wheel chair for safe keeping, a CCRC was our goal.**
Back to us.
We were past the baby boomer generation and qualified age-wise except for this:
a CCRC style hamlet costs a pretty penny.
Because of my design experience with various retirement stomping grounds, I considered myself the perfect person to find the perfect community thus qualifying myself to be a “modest little person, with much to be modest about.” Winston Churchill
 
About that “little person,” hmmmmm, — me???
Humbug — practicality needed to reign. There is a plethora of retirement homes that have lustrous grounds, quiet corners and beguiling sales staffs awaiting new captives with bedazzling presentations.
But, ——
our own nooks and crannies also offered peaceful retreats.i.e. a picturesque circular staircase took us to our private nook.
Our staircase started indoors and when it’s owners remodeled and removed it; we bought it. My husband adapted it for our outside deck.
Loving research, we discovered communities offering splendid landscapes, views of abundant jewel toned flowers surrounded by myriad shades of greenery — nature in southern California.
And so, we sought informational picturesque ads that tempted us.
Enticing, serene, but, on second thought —
                                                  Japan is soo far away.***
Or — or —
a view of grounds terracing down to a river. I could relive my childhood home sited above the Mississippi River and view a corner tableau of the river from our future bedroom window.
Great! Not great! The picture heading said:
                   “On the Hudson River, N. Y.”
    We typed in Southern California.
Right state, right coast;  ixnay.
Stiftling!
Countless ads pictured bucolic residents in virtual Shangri-La’s displaying no sad faces in their “worry-free life styles of exquisite amenity filled luxurious senior environments.”
If we hurried we could “save money” with “limited-time offers.”
Hallelujah, we needed to get right on the road to nab that bargain and engage with those happy-campers.
One that beckoned us to visit had an ocean climate in lieu of our current warm/hot inland habitat. Sounded good to us!
And so, we drove down our winding small mountain road, traversed two freeways and side streets to our, maybe…..“silver lining” home???
Were we on our way to Shangri-La???

SALIENT POINTS:

  • Did we research the diverse types of Retirement Homes available?
  • Did we research the diverse of Retirement Homes available
* RH — Retirement Home or RC Retirement Community
**A CCRC — Continuing Care Retirement Community was a necessity on our wish list. And we needed to understand the physiology and psychology of these small principalities with their opportunities to encourage longevity, well-being and peace of mind.
***Interior Design Magazine: Sun City — Kobe, Japan (February 2018)
Happy Valentine’s Day Blaire!
Happy Birthday Everett!

Layers

Sheila Yates
When Sheila encountered old age her interior design career’s unique experiences became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
 
Join her for a trek to the Inn of the Geriatrics in Post 1,
Is there ever a good time to suggest to your husband that it’s time to move to a Retirement Home?
There’s not — and my cheery voice made zero impact. (But one of us knew; ——it was time!)
As my husband answered, in an incredulous voice, “What do you mean?“
(wah, wah)
My anemic answer! We’ll add a new layer to our life???
And then he looked outside thru our light-filled solarium window and said, flatly,
  “I like this layer.
For starters, it was a disproportionate discussion, my husband saw a sassy swan fountain, an ancient pepper tree holding a wicker swing, a cutting garden, citrus trees and a pergola from which hung a 2′1/2 ” 1906 bell that had started life in another universe as an “Historic El Camino Real Bell.”
(They were original guideposts for Franciscan friars who walked “The Royal Road;” — the 700 mile historic California Mission Trail connecting 21 missions and 4 presidios (military forts) from San Diego to San Francisco.) If a Padre walked from one mission to the next one— it took three days —
on horseback, one day.
As I write this and remember images of that backyard we loved, I also remember the need to face life with unflinching honesty. We were the right age; had too much stuff and property and one of us — had serious health issues. It was essential to step-it-up-a-bit! (Surely, we had enough perspective to push our boundaries and retire to— The Retirement Home!)
I was not a rookie on the retirement home landscape because I was the interior designer of a large retirement facility, had helped relatives and friends search for solutions to their aging needs, plus designed apartments for retirees downsizing that offered me energizing opportunities to share in their new senior environments because “when death is already sounding its high C,” — ‘Anthony Burgess,” — there are challenges.
And retirement homes have Band-Aids.
(The building I designed was part of a CCRC* and was a tear-down that completely replaced the former building.
The job was not in the city where I lived so this required travel to that location for two or three day visits. allowing me to meet residents and understand their needs more thoroughly. Trust me, they had magnetic personalities, — were quick-witted and up-to-date. (Being old did not and does not mean you’re dead!) Unequivocally , I may now be old, but, — I’m not dead yet.
The whole commission included space planning, public rooms, window treatments, carpeting, etc., a provocative challenge when a picture in my past ballooned evoking the first retirement home, I had ever seen.
I was eight years old when we moved across the street from “The Altenheim,” — the German title for an Old Folks Home. I could not believe my parent’s choice. How could they buy our house across the street from that huge, hostile torture chamber? It looked scary and seemed frightening!
After all, I was an ardent fan of Nancy Drew, devouring her books and I knew, “The Altenheim” had dripping cobwebs with a secret staircase hiding a dead body!
My mother’s cure-all, “The people are old and I know a nice lady who lives there; we’ll visit her soon.”
“No way,. Not me!“
So much for the remembrances of an eight year old recalling “The Altenheim!” That was then, and this is now, and now,— —
I’m hoping we’ll move to an Altenheim?? Hmmm….
TO BE CONTINUED:
* A Continuing Care Retirement Community that is designated as a CCRC offers independent living, assisted living and skilled nursing and usually has memory care arrangements. “AARP — There are nearly 2,000 CCRC’s in the U.S.”
Happy New Year, Blaire