During my freshman college year I had the opportunity to discover a word that epitomized my very being.
A freshman English class assignment was to write an essay about the ONE word that described an unfavorable aspect of my character.
Nope, I felt very rational, actually overjoyed:
Finally an assignment to suit me. I could write a thesis and add a couple of daydreams.
- Exchange my feeble math skills to rise to the top of math mountain and become a genius mathematician.
- Exchange my body shape that resembled a railroad tie for Brigette Bardot’s body. (I know—totally unrealistic.) Nope,
there was an especially fine word that embodied me, only me! And, I still have a copy of my deeply introspective essay: CHARACTER TRIBULATIONS! Subtitled:
“THE GODS DID IT!”
A kaleidoscope of black and white shapes streaked through the sky as the lightning challenged the incantations of the kettle drum announcing the annual assembly of the GODS. “THE WORD GODS!”*
Noah, the eminent head CEO smiled as he said to Peter the COO (chief operating officer), ” Bestow the honor! Congratulations to Sheila who personifies this year’s word, PROCRASTINATE!
It will no longer sit huddled & alone. Yep, it was mine, all mine.
The WORD GODS better known as Noah Webster and Peter Roget saved this word for me—listen to how it rings, zings, sings, PRO-CRAS-TI-NA-TION! When it is used as a verb, it offers unlimited choices, and they are all super—dawdle, delay, hesitate, loiter, pigeonhole, slacken, stall, tarry and my personal favorite, dilly-dally.
Wow! When you put them next to run-of-the-mill verbs such as will, was, be, — —not good — —procrastinate is just a really great word!
Think of that tiresome quote, “Procrastination is the thief of time”. Please do not be misled. It is not a thief when it comes to writing. I’m actually saving trees and lessening hyperbole. And ponder this, if certain couples had practiced procrastination instead of the next word in my pocket dictionary, procreation, would not the world be better without the likes of VLAD III, Hitler, Stalin, John Wilkes Booth, AND the future tyrannical despot, Vladimir Putin? How about our beautiful planet Earth? Why didn’t we muddle through history without atomic bombs, guns, nerve gas, to name a few inventions that could have been delayed forever by procrastination?
There is one small problem when one embodies the word in its entirety. If I am its sole authority will I receive proper homage, or will I procrastinate myself into oblivion? Hmmm.
Another glitch, I confess to one lapse in regard to my word. I have never dawdled nor dilly-dallied when offered a plate, box, or bar of chocolate and I absolutely never race to attack a laundry pile if a new book appears. But unfortunately, my most mega procrastination, and I am shamefaced to admit and deeply embarrassed, is my car. It is always in need of a visit to the car wash. I am just not as fussy as I should be for this noble four-wheeled vehicle. It should be bathed a lot more. A whole lot more! Poor Old Dear and I love my car. How can this be?
Mindless procrastination is also not to be emulated. It would not do for me to tarry when paying my bills as that kind of stalling will lead to fines, empty pockets, possibly the hoosegow!
There were times in my life when I had a love-hate relationship with my word, thinking procrastination was my middle name–lately though it appears to be my first, middle, maiden and last name.
Not wanting to be totally histrionic but wanting to be completely honest, procrastination and I are inextricably intertwined—sort of like love and marriage, two to tango, salt and pepper. Two symbiotic words: Sheila and Procrastination. And kudos to Noah and Peter (Mr. dictionary and Mr. thesaurus) for bestowing it upon me.
Success! Feeling wonderfully untroubled.
It’s mine. All mine!
SY’S Salient Points:
Shortly, transformation will be in my future. I look forward to completing all tasks in a flash!
HOPEFULLY! *Noah Webster (1758 – 1843), was a lexicographer and a language reformer. He is often called the Father of American Scholarship and Education.
**Peter Roget: (born January 18, 1779, London, England—died September 12, 1869, West Malvern, Worcestershire), English physician and philologist remembered for his Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases (1852), a comprehensive classification of synonyms or verbal equivalents that is still popular in modern editions.
Blog Comments from past articles, “TODDERING INTO 2023”: DEAL: “No caged animal for me. A Bald Eagle perhaps-top of the food chain and free to roam!” BSS: “You have the right idea. Yes, I also wouldn’t mind being a panda. We’re kind of like the panda. We look good when wearing black and white. For the most part we are peaceful except if we think our babies are being attacked. The panda is ferocious at that time. Also, I wouldn’t mind grazing all day on chocolate and ice cream.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, Darling Blaire
I look forward to any of your comments by replying to my email. – SY