When Sheila encountered old age her design career became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle: the adventure of being a resident with 800+ other elders all heading to the backstretch.
“Did I mention one of us might not be on board?”
My first mission in advancing us toward Retirement Home living was to analyze our current universe. Stay in our present sphere or venture to a new neighborhood?
Specifically, I privately opted for entirely new surroundings because I knew where we wanted to live. (Did you just catch the “I” turning into a WE?)
Truly, this was not about me; it was about us.
A line in a recent Wall Street Journal said, “Downsizing is torture.” We needed to talk to each other diligently and be fair to make this decisive and complex act as a twosome.
Our home was created with a beautiful atmosphere and great comfort. Leaving would in many ways, be a great sorrow. It was an equally painful move for our two grown daughters who no longer lived in our area.
MOVE! WHAT? HOW DARE YOU LEAVE?
We understood their nostalgic desire to hold on to our beloved home. But their lives had moved forward — why not ours?
My mother lived in one type of a RH* when she was still fairly active. It offered meals, housekeeping, laundry, emergency monitoring, minimal social activities, transportation and security; a senior monthly rental. But as her health declined, we had to hire outside private assistance. Paradoxically, we then needed to seek another location and upset her routine to get assistant living care and skilled nursing. This category of RH* offers amenities, but after she transitioned to a wheel chair for safe keeping, a CCRC was our goal.**
Back to us.
We were past the baby boomer generation and qualified age-wise except for this:
a CCRC style hamlet costs a pretty penny.
Because of my design experience with various retirement stomping grounds, I considered myself the perfect person to find the perfect community thus qualifying myself to be a “modest little person, with much to be modest about.” Winston Churchill
About that “little person,” hmmmmm, — me???
Humbug — practicality needed to reign. There is a plethora of retirement homes that have lustrous grounds, quiet corners and beguiling sales staffs awaiting new captives with bedazzling presentations.
But, ——
our own nooks and crannies also offered peaceful retreats.i.e. a picturesque circular staircase took us to our private nook.
Our staircase started indoors and when it’s owners remodeled and removed it; we bought it. My husband adapted it for our outside deck.
Loving research, we discovered communities offering splendid landscapes, views of abundant jewel toned flowers surrounded by myriad shades of greenery — nature in southern California.
And so, we sought informational picturesque ads that tempted us.
Enticing, serene, but, on second thought —
Japan is soo far away.***
Or — or —
a view of grounds terracing down to a river. I could relive my childhood home sited above the Mississippi River and view a corner tableau of the river from our future bedroom window.
Great! Not great! The picture heading said:
“On the Hudson River, N. Y.”
We typed in Southern California.
Right state, right coast; ixnay.
Stiftling!
Countless ads pictured bucolic residents in virtual Shangri-La’s displaying no sad faces in their “worry-free life styles of exquisite amenity filled luxurious senior environments.”
If we hurried we could “save money” with “limited-time offers.”
Hallelujah, we needed to get right on the road to nab that bargain and engage with those happy-campers.
One that beckoned us to visit had an ocean climate in lieu of our current warm/hot inland habitat. Sounded good to us!
And so, we drove down our winding small mountain road, traversed two freeways and side streets to our, maybe…..“silver lining” home???
Were we on our way to Shangri-La???
SALIENT POINTS:
- Did we research the diverse types of Retirement Homes available?
- Did we research the diverse of Retirement Homes available
* RH — Retirement Home or RC Retirement Community
**A CCRC — Continuing Care Retirement Community was a necessity on our wish list. And we needed to understand the physiology and psychology of these small principalities with their opportunities to encourage longevity, well-being and peace of mind.
***Interior Design Magazine: Sun City — Kobe, Japan (February 2018)
Happy Valentine’s Day Blaire!
Happy Birthday Everett!