When Sheila encountered old age her interior design career’s unique experiences became a guide to embrace change and shape an entirely new lifestyle; the adventure of being a resident with 800+ elders all heading to the backstretch.
Join her for a trek to the Inn of the Geriatrics in Post 1,
Is there ever a good time to suggest to your husband that it’s time to move to a Retirement Home?There’s not — and my cheery voice made zero impact. (But one of us knew; ——it was time!)
As my husband answered, in an incredulous voice, “What do you mean?“
(wah, wah)
My anemic answer! We’ll add a new layer to our life???
And then he looked outside thru our light-filled solarium window and said, flatly,
“I like this layer.
For starters, it was a disproportionate discussion, my husband saw a sassy swan fountain, an ancient pepper tree holding a wicker swing, a cutting garden, citrus trees and a pergola from which hung a 2′1/2 ” 1906 bell that had started life in another universe as an “Historic El Camino Real Bell.”
(They were original guideposts for Franciscan friars who walked “The Royal Road;” — the 700 mile historic California Mission Trail connecting 21 missions and 4 presidios (military forts) from San Diego to San Francisco.) If a Padre walked from one mission to the next one— it took three days —on horseback, one day.
As I write this and remember images of that backyard we loved, I also remember the need to face life with unflinching honesty. We were the right age; had too much stuff and property and one of us — had serious health issues. It was essential to step-it-up-a-bit! (Surely, we had enough perspective to push our boundaries and retire to— The Retirement Home!)
I was not a rookie on the retirement home landscape because I was the interior designer of a large retirement facility, had helped relatives and friends search for solutions to their aging needs, plus designed apartments for retirees downsizing that offered me energizing opportunities to share in their new senior environments because “when death is already sounding its high C,” — ‘Anthony Burgess,” — there are challenges.
And retirement homes have Band-Aids.
(The building I designed was part of a CCRC* and was a tear-down that completely replaced the former building.
The job was not in the city where I lived so this required travel to that location for two or three day visits. allowing me to meet residents and understand their needs more thoroughly. Trust me, they had magnetic personalities, — were quick-witted and up-to-date. (Being old did not and does not mean you’re dead!) Unequivocally , I may now be old, but, — I’m not dead yet.
The whole commission included space planning, public rooms, window treatments, carpeting, etc., a provocative challenge when a picture in my past ballooned evoking the first retirement home, I had ever seen.
I was eight years old when we moved across the street from “The Altenheim,” — the German title for an Old Folks Home. I could not believe my parent’s choice. How could they buy our house across the street from that huge, hostile torture chamber? It looked scary and seemed frightening!
After all, I was an ardent fan of Nancy Drew, devouring her books and I knew, “The Altenheim” had dripping cobwebs with a secret staircase hiding a dead body!
My mother’s cure-all, “The people are old and I know a nice lady who lives there; we’ll visit her soon.”
“No way,. Not me!“
So much for the remembrances of an eight year old recalling “The Altenheim!” That was then, and this is now, and now,— —
I’m hoping we’ll move to an Altenheim?? Hmmm….
TO BE CONTINUED:
* A Continuing Care Retirement Community that is designated as a CCRC offers independent living, assisted living and skilled nursing and usually has memory care arrangements. “AARP — There are nearly 2,000 CCRC’s in the U.S.”
Happy New Year, Blaire